Crisis of Faith...

I wasn't raised in a church nor instilled with any type of beliefs. My grandmother has an important position in her church as does my grandfather in his church. My mother was raised in church, kinda. She was in high school at the end of the 70's, so imagine "That 70's Show", but more realistic. So growing up, I was sporadically told half-assed things about being a Christian and what-not. So any morals I value or any beliefs I have, I developed them on my own. My beliefs are more of a combination of religions rather than one, recognized religion. I take what makes since from each one and cancel out what doesn't. I'm quite the open-minded person. As I do this I realized some things as of late... Christianity is a fairly fucked up religion. Christianity is one of few (if not the only one) that the whole belief system is based off of fear. Hell is that fear. They want you to live a good life, not because its right, because you don't want the 'eternal lake of fire'. You don't go to church, you go to hell. You don't believe in God, you go to hell. You go see The Da Vinci Code, you go to hell. In the later case, you're more likely to go to 'heaven' if you murder 8 people outside the theatre rather than remotely believe the story is possible. You know, because our God forgives murderers. As does Allah (depending on who you ask), Zeus, and the leader of your local cult. I also find it funny that people still take the Bible in a literal sense. There is a big difference between a leap of faith and believing we all came from some guy named Adam and a bitch named Eve. They eat some apple and all of a sudden they notice each other is naked, and the sinning commences. Sounds like shrooms to me. Am I to believe after 50,000 years, God rears his head and decides to have his one and only son to die for our sins? I tend to think things are a little more fucked up now, so where's our savior? If we were to get one, no one would believe him/her. If someone claimed to have done the same things Jesus did, we'd condemn them. People turn water into wine all the time, they own wineries. If you're walking on water, its frozen. If you have the power to heal, you're a doctor. No one worships these people. David Koresh (he was a little nuts though) was terminated. Joan of Arc was burned alive. L. Ron Hubbard is ridiculed. I personally think they are fakes, but who really knows. I think God would be a little pissed if we kept killing his offspring. The killing in God's/Allah's/whoever's name is ridiculous too. No one ever kills in the name of Athiesism or Buddah. When a mother killed her children in the bathtub, she said God made her do it. 'Not my God!' everyone one Earth said. Wasn't he vengeful at some point? Also, Jesus is NOT WHITE! He was born in Israel, not Alabama. People were so gullible 2-3000 years ago, there's no reason to still be. As I mentioned above, I like to take a little from each religion. The similarities are the easy ones. The majority seems to believe in some sort of spiritual transition after you die. I find comfort in that. There are the heavens, the paradises (with the countless virgins), nirvanas, utopias and this thing called limbo. I'm leaning towards reincarnation. Wherever you go (if anywhere) has to fill up eventually, and I'd hate to live a good life and be kept out due to some heavenly fire code. Everyone seems to have that one guy controlling everything. God, Allah, Xenu, and so on. What I like is all religions have that one guy, or profit as they like to be called, who spoke with their respective god of choice. Jesus to Muhammad to Buddah to Moses to fucking Joseph Smith. They're all so different, but still the same. In the end, they all just want you to live a good life, which is what I try to do. I'm coming to realize it doesn't matter what I believe or who I believe in, as long as I live well and stay happy, I'm doing ok. I'm reading up on Taoism currently. Its all about achieving personal happiness. A little selfish maybe, but it works for me. I have not studied theology, nor am I an expert. I may be inaccurate, which is why I stay open-minded rather than dwelling on one set of beliefs.