Forecast for today: Milfy, with a small chance of Hot Daughter

Having money must be nice. CORRECTION: Being married to someone with money must be nice. All the spa treatments and big SUV’s and mini dogs and such, it all must be really nice. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not knocking it by any means. I would kill to be married to a female brain surgeon or drug dealer or something. I wouldn’t have to work, she’d never be home, and I’d have tons of money. I’d be a less douchie Kevin Federline. It’d be Gah-RAND. Even better: I want to be the boy-toy for a lonely housewife. I wouldn’t have to fake any type of emotions, that’s a plus. I could come an go as I please, that’s another one. And the selling point: I would have the option of eventually hooking up with the spoiled, hot, 19 year-old daughter. I’m a fucking genius. I should invent something. I took my brother out to dinner the other day (as I do every Monday) to where I can view the Milfs in their natural habitat. My 13 year-old brother caught wind of where we were really quick. There is a lot of shiny cars in this parking lot. We walk past Hummers and Benzes on our way to the restaurant. When I first walk in, there is streaked, blond hair as far as the eye can see. There's nothing wrong with that, it’s just an observation. We sit and wait due to the ten-minute wait and I notice something. The family that came just after us fit the perfect mold for the area we were at: Mom: mid-forties, gorgeous Dad: nerdy looking, obviously the only one with a job Daughter: 17-19, wearing as little as possible with everything pushed up and poked out Son: pre-teen, hair frosted, bouncing around on a Starbucks high Excuse me as I pick them apart… The Dad probably makes a good living doing something that allows him to never be home. When he is home for dinner, it’s a family event. He has no idea how his money is spent until he views the credit card statement on the 20th of every month. The Mom spends most of the day coordinating her children’s lives (or trying to) with frequent trips to the spa, salon, or wherever else she would go to stay looking younger than her daughter. She secretly wants the attention of a younger, available man. Its mostly why she doesn’t mind her daughter’s friends over all the time. She masturbates to the Abercrombie & Fitch models that they resemble in the catalogs. Daughter is as spoiled as hot, three day old, banana yogurt. She got her first car at 16 that she probably hasn’t driven since graduation. Now, she probably pushes some kind of girly SUV or Honda that her parents bought. Little do they know that she gets banged out on a regular basis in said vehicle. They just think she’s popular. She goes to college and gets good grades, which entitles her to come home every chance she gets (which I’m all for) and has a part-time ‘look at me’ job in either a local mall, tanning salon, or a close-by restaurant. Oh, and needless to say, she’s unbelievably attractive. Son plays every sport imaginable; whatever gets him away from his bored and overbearing mother. He gets every game system that comes out with the games to match. His friends only like him for his ‘toys’, but he’ll never know that. They all live an extremely happy and privileged life. It all must be nice.