I Started My Own Foundation

Bills suck. You work so hard for your paycheck (at least I do) and someone takes a chunk before you even touch it. Then at the beginning of every month, your landlord/mortgage company wants their cut. Then, if you’re like me, you have random companies and utilities taking straight from your account at random times of the month. Then you gotta eat. Food’s not free. I’d hunt cows if I could. They are. fucking. everywhere. You need cable because the reception is non-existent for regular TV. Gas is high. Weed’s not cheap. Cars need maintenance. Blah blah blah blah. It becomes harder and harder to save money for the important things: Education and Beer. So I decided to try something. If you look to your right, or my left, wait...the side closest to your mouse, you will see two pictures. The important one is a picture of a diploma/degree. If you click on that, you can donate as much or as little as you want to my education fund, The Make Me Smarter Foundation, using Paypal. I only need enough to finish my AA (a few classes, books, whiteout, etc.), and then I’ll get a loan when I transfer. I’m striving to be a psychiatrist so I can help you not commit suicide or kill everyone you work with. Pretty much exactly what I do now, but I'd get paid a shitload for it. Help me, help you. If you look under that, you will see a beer label that resembles a Dutch beverage (preventing a lawsuit here). Click on that and it will take you to a page where you can donate to another important fund: The Buy Me A Beer Foundation. You, yes you, can buy my next Heineken ($3.75) without even being there. Maybe you live in a different state. Maybe you’re under-aged. Maybe you like me enough to buy me a drink, but not enough to be around me (Mom, I'm looking in your direction). Whatever the case, sponsor my next night of drunken greatness so I can have more things to write about. Only you can prevent me from being sober. With these ‘charities’, at least you know where your money is going. To me. I will not buy hookers or lap dances or Mel Gibson movies or abortions or crack with this money. They are hooked up to separate accounts and will only be used for their designated purpose. In return, I’ll give you a warm tingling feeling inside. If you’re a guy, you’ll just feel good about yourself. Late Edit: I changed my beer foundation to the brand new Get Me A New iPod Foundation. My iPod was stolen and I miss my music. Besides having a foundation for free beer is just enabling my alcoholism. I think you need a Paypal account to do so. It's not hard and its very safe, so don't be lazy. If you eBay, you probably already have one. And yes, I am of age.