My favorite word

I have a bad mouth. I have the mouth of a 50’s navy vet from Alabama, at times. So my new favorite word isn’t ‘puppies’ or ‘sunshine’ or ‘rainbows’. Shit, my old favorite word wasn’t any of those either. My old favorite word was ‘mahfucka’, ‘motherfucker’ for the ebonically challenged. I mostly used it as a pronoun in the place of him, her, you, etc, etc. Example: “Look mahfucka, you’re wrong.” or “That mahfucka is a little bitch.” and so on. But if you think about it, it can be used for anything. Example: “Look mahfucka, this mahfucka don’t owe you a mahfucking thing. So you and that mahfucka can take this mahfucka and be on your mahfucking way, mahfuckas.” Mahfucka can be any and everything. If I wrote the thesaurus, mahfucka would be the last synonym for every word imaginable. I liked to use it mostly as an exclamation to some error or mistake, but then I said it phonetically. If I dropped something or something broke, you’d hear a “Mo-ther-fu-cker!” like it came from an adult-version See-N-Say. Needless to say, Samuel L. Jackson was my hero. Recently, I cut down on my use of ‘mahfucka’ and replaced it with a shorter, more effective ‘fucker’. Oh, the glory of ‘fucker’. It’s as great as ‘mahfucka’ but without all the extra syllables. All syllables do is waste precious seconds of your life. Thinking back at all the times I said ’mahfucka’ or ‘motherfucker’, I begin to realize how efficient using the word ‘fucker’ can be. By using a new obscenity, I am bettering my life in more ways than I originally thought. I am literally freeing up a couple years of my life to do something other than curse. Plus, it’s less offensive to use at work or in public in general. Instead of greeting a group of people by stating each one’s name or calling them all ‘mahfuckas’, I can walk in and say, “Hey fuckers!” It’s a great substitute. I use it all the time. When I drop something, when I can’t remember somebody’s name, when the condom breaks, whenever I feel it is necessary. It’s GrrRAND. So to all fucking fuckers out there, make your new fucking word ‘fucker’ today! Word Count = 362 Mahfucka/motherfucker = 19 Fucker/fucking = 8 Not bad. Next word: Cunt