Sleeper Cells

Paranoid America has been talking about this since 9/11. The possibility of Arab-Americans being nothing but embedded operatives to be called upon at moment's notice to reek havoc on our nation. You've seen scenarios on shows like '24' and....well, whatever other shows that have tried to cash in on this idea. My question is: Why do we assume its just the Arabs? Any country could have sleeper cells hidden here and we'd never know it until its too late. Shit, I could be a sleeper agent for Africa or something. Luckily, my trigger is in the 'Snakes On A Plane' movie, so I won't be killing anyone anytime soon. Think... England: Wouldn't you be plenty pissed if a large territory of yours decides one day to break away and form their own union, then find out 200 years later that they became the most powerful enity in the world? I would be a little bitter. They could have embedded numerous operatives to catch us one day off guard. Its not hard for an English person to speak American. Plus, a large amount of this country is white (81.7%), and where do you think white people came from? England...mostly. Hugh Grant, Jude Law, and Kate Beckensale are all here just to make nice and suck up as much movie money as they can to fund these terrorist organizations. Do you really believe Tony Blair enjoys 'pretending' to be Bush's lapdog? It's all an elaborate plan to anally rape our nation. Any Asian Country: I'm mostly talking about China, Japan, and Korea. I live in a state where even the last governor was Asian. They are everywhere. I think they were originally sent here to get really good at math, but they figured they should stay in case an opportunity to conquer us came up. At any given moment, we could be overtaken. Ever notice how almost every big city has a Chinatown? We call them international districts, they call them military bases. Finally, they know what we're afraid to say: If one day we woke up and could no longer order Chinese food, this country would go to shit. Mexico: I'm not even going to give a 'for instance' or any examples. Let's just say we'd be fucked. California? Gone. Oh, and good luck finding anyone to clean anything. Africa: We tried the Black Panther idea, we tried the gangbanger way, and we tried selling crack (only to sell it to ourselves). I'm waiting for the new, hot, hip-hop song to come out with subliminal messages telling me to overtake the government....and steal a car. America would never know. Most non-black, hip-hop listeners just like the beats anyway. Anything that gives you an excuse to grind on each other. You all don't listen to the words like we do. Plus, they have enough diamonds to fund a militia. Everytime Lil' Jon yells 'What!', another American baby is aborted. Didn't know that, did you? Being bi-racial, I can side either way or be killed by both. Win-win. Canada: I am most afraid of a Canadian sleeper cell. We laugh at them. We make movies about laughing at them. We don't take them seriously, and then we laugh at them. I'll show you what I'm talking aboot, eh: -Some of the best weed comes from Canada, which is bought in large quanities by stoners and the U.S. government (where do you think all those tons of weed the border patrol finds go?). We are basically funding their secret military through drug money. -If America goes to a major war, draft-dodgers will suddenly strive for Canadian citizenship. More soldiers for Canada, don't cha know? -They're putting something in the water up there that makes the girls ridiculously hot as of late. They will come down here, bear American children, and then raise them to be anarchists. -They're still really pissed at 'Blame Canada' being nominated for an Oscar. Only a matter of time, eh? -They are now making more money in hockey than before. That could be a possible source of terrorist funding in the future, if not now. Only thing that comforts me about Canada is that they have yet to colonize here. There's not a noticeable percentage of them (>1%), that we know of. It could be the same as my American-speaking Englishmen theory. Who I'm not worried about: Germany: We already think all Germans are Nazis anyway. Call it a correct assessment or call it ignorance. Due to that paranoia, they can no longer do anything to surprise anyone, so no threat there. France: I mean, come on. Really? France? Russia: They tried to beat us in an arms race and went bankrupt. Now their economy is fucked. There's not enough hockey players or Vodka sales to fund anything over here other than mail-order brides and bad food. Unrelated subject: The tennis players are hot. Female, tennis players. Italy: They blew their chances when the mob started snitching on each other. Now their chances are like Luca Brasi, "sleeping with the fishes". Australia See France. Then see Russell Crowe. Native Americans: They are trying to buy up all their land back. They are making a shitload off the casinos. The probability of an upheaval, however, is bleak at best. Bow and arrows have never conquered a country before. I think they'll need a hand.