The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend ChroniclesSecond Entry

<--First Entry My apartment complex parking lot was the scene to a lot of our bouts. I never hit her, but there were 8-10 times I should have. This is one of them. It was the day before my mom’s birthday and I usually make her a pie as a cheap present. I was 18 at the time and I made decent money at my full-time job, but she still wanted my world famous cheesecake (yes, world famous). After spending the day with my girlfriend, I tell her I need to make a stop at the local supermarket to pick up my baking supplies. This was sometime in the middle of the day. I know because I remember the sun was still shining and I was still smiling. If she had a problem with me ending my day short, common sense says to bring up the issue before she drives me back to my place. This girl obviously lacked common sense. I learned this on many occasions, but mainly at this moment. She drove me to my apartment complex as I asked and we parked unusually far from my actual apartment. I started to see where this was going. We had the usual argument of how I don’t love her enough and I never want to spend time with her and what have you. Real edge-of-your-seat-type stuff. The adventure always starts when I turn to leave. "Don’t you dare get out of my car!!!" (Three exclamation points) I've been kicked out of a car before, but I've never been commanded to stay in one. I dwarfed her by over a foot and out weighed her by at least sixty pounds, so I just laughed. She started pulling at me and grabbing me and yelling at me like she ain't had no sense. The only things we were missing was a home on wheels, a trucker hat, and a kiddie pool to have an all out trailer brawl. I brushed her off and proceeded to head towards my apartment a little bewildered. I made it as far as halfway before her size 5 feet ran up behind me and jumped on my back. I would not make a good quarterback. "You can't walk away from me! You can't walk away from MEEEEEE!!!" In my right hand I had a bag full of groceries. In my left hand I had my key. On my back I had a five-foot troll (a hot troll mind you) who I was giving an unwelcome piggy back ride to. My knee jerk reaction was to elbow her in her pretty little face and be on my way, but since she was not a man, I flung her off my back with my off-hand. I may be exaggerating, but she flew, like, ten feet away into my apartment mini-lawn. It was some Matrix-type shit. She laid there fairly still for a minute or so before I told her to stop playing dead and get up. I was a little pissed. She moved a little after that, trying to over-dramaticize the whole event. I really would have loved to leave her there to teach her a lesson, but the genius in me realized the consequences of abandoning her (one of which was a break up that I, for whatever reason, didn’t want) such as some fake assault charges or lawsuit or whatever. I ended up picking her up and taking her inside to prevent her from doing something stupid and to treat her just in case she had a concussion. I got her water and aspirin and so on to get her well enough to go home, constantly yelling at her to not go to sleep and drink her water. I guess you can say I was pissed, but I still cared. It's one of my few flaws. My mom gave me some help. I think the girlfriend was a little embarassed by that; seeing as my mom would be the first person (but not the last) that has seen us fight. My mother was amazed at the level of drama my relationship had and she never looked at her the same after that. Neither did I really. We dated another year and a half or so. I'm not smart. "My friend from work has spent everyday with her boyfriend since they've been together, and they're doing great. I don't see why we can't do that." Third Entry-->