A short guide to common courtesy

It's been a while since the last time I gave you all a lesson on proper etiquette. Here is a new one. There are some unwritten rules in life that we all should abide by. These aren't things you could learn from your parents either. These are things that may be passed down from an older sibling, an older friend, or maybe just learned from life experience. Whatever the case, these are a few things you should already know, but probably don't. Always... ...tell your friend if you personally know who their girlfriend has been with. ...notify the party when there are less than five beers left. ...bring alcohol to a party that you are willing to leave. ...give someone a light if you have a lighter. ...assume the girl your friend is fucking is off-limits. ...insult someone infront of his girl. ...make sure your friends have a way home if you leave them. ...tell someone if you think something is a bad idea. ...pay on the first date. ...tip someone who is doing you a service. ...warn your friend if he's playing wingman for the night. ...drink the shot someone buys you, unless you rejected it beforehand. ...wish a friend a happy birthday, no matter how gay it sounds. ...assume you have to take off your shoes upon entering someone's home. Never... ...tell someone that their tattoo is horrible. ...tell a man his girlfriend is ugly. ...sing along with more than two songs in a row while with friends unless they join in. ...assume that the girl your friend is fucking is his girlfriend. ...sucker punch someone unless they are bigger than you. ...drunk dial a girlfriend. ...tease about an obvious flaw, unless its weight. ...retell a story if more than half of the group has already heard it, unless they were there. ...tell a friend that a girl is out of their league. ...change the radio station in someone else's car. ...assume you can grab a girl's ass anytime you want just because you did it when you danced. ...say something bad about your friend, no matter how true it is. ...call a man gay in front of his mother. ...wait for the other person to make the first move if you want sex. ...call someone when you have nothing to say. ...submit someone's phone number to telemarketers. The shit happens. ...say no to a free drink, unless you are staying completely sober.