Making a mockery of the judicial system. Day 9

Day 1- The fun Day 2- I got picked Day 3- The trial starts, bring on the tears Day 4- I was only resting my eyes Day 5- National Homeless Day Day 6- The firefighter proves to be a pussy Day 7- Lawyers hate kindergarten teachers Day 8- My last day. Wait, no, they lied. Day 9- Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..... We had to be in an hour later today, so I got an extra hour of sleep. That means there won't be any sleeping in court, right? I managed to only doze off for 3 seconds or so today. The plaintiff's lawyer has one of those voices that sound like a lullaby. Kind of like Mr. Rogers. Will you be my neighbor? First we were forced to hear the bullshit story of the plaintiff for the 800th time. We all knew it was bullshit. I could see it in my fellow jurors' eyes. Bullshit. Again they recycled information with their own bias twist. It was laughable. Second we hear the defense lawyer give their story. Its basically the same story, but with a 'don't give them shit!' attitude. I can roll with that. During that speech, I peered over to the plaintiffs and I can see defeat written all over their faces as if it was scribed with a Sharpie. Way to waste my time and my taxes, assholes. After a few rebuttals, we come to find the plaintiffs are looking to be awarded a sum of 100-500 thousand dollars in damages for Defamation, Outrage (I didn't know that was a suable offense), and Breach of Contract. We were told beforehand that the Breach Of Contract only had a $1 ruling in this case. The plaintiff wanted to "Frame that dollar on their wall as a sign of justice!" **cue American flag backdrop and patriotic music** After laughing in my head about their expected cash award, the judge calls my name. Oh shit, did I just laugh out loud? Did he finally catch me asleep? Judge- Mr. ****, you are now excused from your duty. (laughter from the jury box) Thank you for your time and we have a certificate for you suitable for framing. Me- Thanks? Judge- In the rare event we lose a juror during deliberation, you will be called in to join. In such a case, deliberation will have to restart to allow you to catch up. Thank you for your undivided attention (Ha!) and your willingness to serve. Me- Thank you. (I turn to the jury box) You guys have fun! I hope I never hear the word 'deliberation' ever again. Late edit: I received an email from the bailiff saying the jury deliberated for 3 hours and awarded the plaintiffs dick. She didn't use the word dick, but she should have. They didn't even deserve that fucking dollar they wanted to frame. They didn't even deserve my fucking time. If anything, the state should sue them for the complete and utter disregard for people's time and tax money that could go somewhere else that is more important. Important like a pedophile congressman's pay raise or pretty new street lights in my 'downtown' district. Thanks for wasting roughly $10,000 of tax payers money and a couple of my vacation days, assholes!