The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Chronicles Seventh Entry

<--- Sixth Entry Its hard to get actual alone time when you live with your parent(s). Having sex becomes an exciting game of hind-n-seek, but increasingly more difficult when the walls are paper thin or when you’re not allowed to close the door. My ex thought getting a hotel would be a great idea. We did it a few times, all of which ended with fights. This one was my favorite… We got a room at the Best Western in town for our 1st anniversary. Not too bad of a place. I did the candle and rose pedal thing before I picked her up. We stopped by the kinky store to pick up some fun things and I bought two videotapes for the camera. Yeah, that’s how I roll. We did the whole romantic thing that night. CORRECTION: We tried to do the romantic thing that night. The roses, the blindfold, the camera, the edible everything, we did it all. If I have to give some advise on this, I’d say to leave out the edible everything. The panties are stupid and the lotion is unusually sticky. She didn’t like that. At all. Ungrateful bitch. After our first go round, she started to stick to the sheets and the surrounding petals. That put her in an unsavory mood. She wants to call it a night. Whatever. Fine. I decide to order a movie because I am still full of energy and not tired at all. If I remember right, it was American Pie. According to her, it might as well have been hardcore, midget porn. Her- Oh, so because you can’t fuck me again you’re gonna fucking watch that shit. Me- Go to sleep. Her- I’m not gonna let you watch this. Me- The fuck you’re not. I just paid for this shit and I can’t sleep. Go to sleep. Her- Blah blah blah and some other stuff that's not important enough to remember. She won’t shut up. Me- Fuck this, I’m going home. Her- I drove stupid. Me- First of all, don’t ever call me stupid. Second of all, I know you drove, that’s why I’m walking. The room is in your name so feel free to stay. Her- You’re an asshole. Me- You’re an ungrateful psycho. Her- Stop calling me that. It was my pet name for her. I gathered my things and started walking home. It was only five miles or so, I’ve done worse. She tries to call my bluff, but I’m halfway home already. I don't fucking bluff. My phone rings. Her- If I jumped out of this window, would you even care? Not that night. Me- Do you know how much it’d hurt if you didn’t die? Her- I have one leg out and I’m sitting on the windowsill. You don’t love me. It’s all about sex with you. Me- You’re insane and you need help. I’m not coming back. (click) It’s a good thing she was full of shit because I just kept walking. She drove to find me like I knew she eventually would, but she couldn’t find me at all because I took the back roads. I did see her pass ahead of me though. I doubt she saw me. She was waiting in the parking lot for me when I finally got home. We exchanged some words and I invited her inside for an hour or so to make up. I was not the brightest bulb on the sign, but I refused to burn out. Eight Entry --->