Randomness pt. 2

This is part 2, as opposed to part 1 When you have sex outside of your relationship, why is it called cheating? Are my girlfriend and I having a contest to see who can have the highest total number of lifetime orgasms? Only then would having sex with another women could actually be called cheating. I'm beginning to think Amish people are just a species of humans that stopped evolving in the 18th century. I don't care what they say. I eat and breathe hip-hop, but couldn't they have come up with a less-gay name? 'Urban' would have been fine. Why don't men take baths anymore? Once we were old enough to work the shower, we never looked back. The ultimate goal in sex is to reach an orgasm. So why are men forced to hold out as long as they can? Why can't women just learn/evolve to cum faster? Why is the Catholic church against abortions? Is it because there would be less kids to molest. (is that bad taste?) For married couples, having a TV in your bedroom is like having a stripper perform at your church. You're in there for something supposedly important, but your attention will no doubt be focused on something completely different. Oh, and it pisses your wife off. They say that sex is good exercise, but in an average session (20 minutes, and that's if we care), you only burn enough calories to negate that banana you had with lunch. Its about the same as masturbating and sleeping for 90 minutes. I don't have to cuddle after the latter. You know the part in The Shining where that old guy is getting a blowjob from a giant teddy bear? What the fuck was that about? By volume, I get more junk mail than actual mail. Do people actually use these Val-U-Paks? I'd almost rather get a message in the mail notifying me that a tree was killed in my name. Why has text messaging become easier than actual talking? I enjoy 'texting', but it's breeding a society of anti-socials. The same could be said for porn. Why is it suddenly 'uncool' to dress up for Halloween when you're 12, then suddenly 'cool' to do so when you're 19? Girls can recycle their costumes by just adding the word 'naughty' or 'slutty' at the beginning. Twelve --> life saving nurse, deadly vampire, or buccaneer. Nineteen --> naughty nurse, slutty vampire, and slutty pirate. Is it wrong to feed a pig leftover Christmas ham? They'll still eat it. Why is boxing still around? It's only exciting when there are 140 pound latinos beating the shit out of each other. With the new Transformers movie coming out, is anyone else anxiously waiting for a He-Man remake or a live-action Care Bears movie? My childhood is being brutally raped in the worst way (as if there was a better way?). The older and fatter Jack Nicholson gets, the younger and hotter his girlfriends get. How exactly does that work? Insurance is a scam. They cover you hoping nothing happens, making you pay for nothing. Then when shit does happen, they either insanely raise your rates to make you pay it all back or they drop you all together and leave you vulnerable. That shouldn't be legal. Girls treat giving head like giving sticks of gum. If you ask for some, they think you're rude. They only offer when they want something to put in their mouth. Selfish. Think about it. It'll be funny later. Remember Big Wheels growing up? Why don't kids have those anymore? I used to love running into cars with those. Oh, I see now. Kleenex with Aloe lotion is definitely in the top 25 greatest inventions in modern history. My nose will never be rubbed raw AGAIN! Tissue at home > tissue at school > tissue at work Is it me, or is there something a bit off about a girl who is REALLY good at sex. How exactly did she get so damn good? Ever notice there aren't any smart homeless people? If that's not a future 'Stay In School' ad, I don't know what is.