Cell Phone @ The Bar

I refuse to talk about etiquette for actual cell phone usage. It's been driven into the ground and I won't begin beating that dead horse. What I will discuss is the etiquette of having a cell phone. Particularly at a alcohol serving establishment (read: bar). There should be some expectations and guarantees while carrying your phone during a night of drinking. Here's a list of my rules, starting with the most important rule... 1. If you are female, and you set your phone on the table, your pictures are subject to approval by at least one other guy that is drinking with you. It's usually me and I do in fact warn you before I do it. You should always have some hot pictures on your phone for such an occasion. 2. If you are a guy, you will probably be asked to share your ringtones with the group at some point. Go ahead and share, but be aware that you will be one-upped by some jackass who thinks his is better. That jackass will be me. Mine are always better than yours. 3. Text messaging across a table is an acceptable way for talking shit about someone else at the table. It is also acceptable to do when commenting on someone's rack or hitting on someone's girlfriend. 4. At some point, someone will want to use their "great new camera phone that takes pictures way better than yours" to take pictures. Flipping them off is an acceptable pose. Don't brag about your new phone that your parents bought you. 5. If you are drunk and you get a text message asking for a 'fun' picture, you must head straight to the nearest restroom and oblige. Its a little known law and you will be turned in if you resist. The only exception is if you are 'taken', whatever that may mean. 6. Drunk texting, although sometimes annoying, is an acceptable drunken pastime and should always be consequence-free. It doesn't matter how late, raunchy, or revealing the messages are, you are unable to get mad about it. Althoughtm there is such a thing as too much. Drunk dialing, however, does end at midnight...or so. 7. Rather than wasting paper to write down your phone number, you are allowed to grab someone's phone and enter it yourself. This is all assuming she/he wants it. Afterwards, please refer to rule #1. 8. If you are female and you leave your phone unattended, you will find a picture of male genitalia on your phone later that week. Accept it. 9. If you are banging your friend's sister/girlfriend or brother/boyfriend, don't leave your phone behind. The last thing someone wants to see when enacting rule #1 is a) their loved one's number in your phone and b) a naked picture of said loved one. 10. If you have naked pictures of girls on your phone, don't show it to everyone. You all are ruining it for the rest of us because now the girls don't trust me us . Shame on you. Shame on you all.