I am a superhero. Well, less super, more hero.

Me and some friends went to this shitty bar one night to visit someone we haven't seen in a while. She was a waitress there and we figured we'd get some stiff drinks while we caught up with her. It all seemed like a good idea. We got there and it was fairly empty. It was us three, a table full of preppy douche bags with their girlfriends/whores, some older people, a couple people palying pool, and a couple of really bad karaoke singers. Not too bad. We were working on getting a decent buzz when, right by our table, some black guy (it becomes important later) walked out of the restroom and accidently brushed up against one of the douche bags that was on his way in the restroom. The drunk, douchey guy exchanged a look with the brotha and they went about their way. My dear friend of mine couldn't let this opportunity pass... You gonna let him get away with that? It was funny at the time. I didn't think it'd go anywhere. We continued drinking for another 45 minutes or so when I happened to glance over and witness an altercation between the brotha and the douche bags. The brotha was attempting to leave with his girlfriend when the drunk, douchey guy confronted him about the little brush-up earlier. It was comical at first. Picture a 6-foot-2 black guy being bugged by a 5-foot-8 preppy prick. I decided to pay it some extra attention. The brotha didn't want any trouble, probably since he was with his lady and also outnumbered. As he pushed his way down the stairs, one of the other douchey guys ran down the other part of the stairs (the stairs had two ways down on opposite sides) and met him at the door. The fists began flying. This poor brotha was getting his ass handed to him by 4-5 little white dudes while their girlfriends/whores cheered them on. It was a little fucked up. I couldn't let my boy go down like that, so I ran to jump in. I ran down the stairs and started pulling these little fuckers off of him. One by one, they were getting pulled in mid-punch and being tossed aside like ugly groupies at an Usher concert. I'm not all that big, but I do my best. I really wanted one of them to swing on me so I would have reason to actually jump in, but none of them tried. It was a bit of a downer, but I continued to help. Everytime another ass tried to jump in, I was right behind him to give him a toss. I look behind me expecting my two friends to have my back only to see them drinking beer straight from the tap while the bar staff was outside breaking things up. Apparently: free beer > me. It's nice to know you can depend on your friends (I'm being sarcastic. It was completely ok.). Then the cops came. I'm not stupid, so I ran inside the bar to play everything off. I wasn't fast enough. They comenced in the mace/pepper spraying at full force. I came up the stairs coughing but nothing serious. I wasn't directly hit. Others, however, were running to the bathroom to wash their eyes out and such. One guy ran into the restroom to puke as my friend was peeing right beside his head. Funny shit. In the end, they all went to jail. All the girlfriends of both parties were crying from stupidity and lacking the ability to drive their boyfriends stick-shift home. Everyone else continued drinking. Our waitress-friend ended the night with this comment... That hardly ever happens. Please, don't be afraid to come back.