A Night At The Cinema

I love watching movies. I hate sitting through them. If they really want my money, they should accommodate me a little more. I previously wrote about Cinema Etiquette, now here's my typical night at the cinema, assuming my two-hour movie starts at 7:50pm because, for whatever reason, movies ver rarely begin bewteen 8 and 9:25pm. I never understood that. Me @ The Movies 7:20pm This time may be smudged if I'm going with my girlfriend, but if I'm meeting friends, I hate being late. I make time for traffic or whatever may come. 7:30pm Gotta stop by the gas station to pick up some Red Vines. Only a buck, as opposed to five. 7:35pm I park. If everyone is there, we march to the box office. We leave our cars behind in an unpatroled parking lot with minimal lighting. Our cars are there for the taking. I am forced to stuff candy and a bottle of "water" in my pants and/or jacket so I don't have to pay for the stuff inside. They make me do it. Unless its alcohol, I really don't try to hide it anymore. It's too much of a hassle and they no longer care. We buy our senior citizen tickets from Fandango, which saves us $3 each time we go. The ticket takers are teenagers and they either don't care, or don't look. You gotta love that. 7:40-7:50 or so Regal First Look or 'The 20'. In preparation of getting their on time, we are usually obscenely early. All of us have seen the same ads over and over again. This is usually when we talk about sexually vulgar subjects (when there are no kids around) to maybe offend a group of girls or an older couple. It's fun. Try it. 7:50-8:05pm- Fucking trailers. Like, 7 of'em or something. Usually one good one you've never seen before with a bunch of the same ones you've been seeing all over TV. My advice: go to Apple.com and you can see the trailers the day they come out at home. You could save fifteen minutes. 8:05pm The movie finally begins. The cell phone is now on silent. 9:35pm I usually become restless at the ninety-minute mark. Seats are rarely comfortable and by now I either have back pains, gotta pee, or I have gas. All movies should be ninety minutes. Anything past that should go straight to DVD or there needs to be a higher standard in theatre seating. 9:40 til whenever The last part of the movie that is probably drawn out or unneeded. It can really ruin a movie. I'm probably no longer paying any attention anymore. God help my girlfriend if she's there. I usually begin to fiddle with her to pass the time. Short skirts are great. End of movie We leave after the credits are done. It's either to wait for the crowd to disperse, wait to see if there's a bonus scene, or just talk about nothing important. Then we stroll through the hallways and head towards the restrooms. Nothing exciting there. We eventually make it outside into the parking lot, take an inventory of everyone's car, and continue to bullshit until everyone agrees it's either too cold be be standing there or what bar we're heading to. Night 'security' doesn't like us loitering, but at these prices, we should be able to do whatever we want.