Those Damn Girls Gone Wild Commercials

They have methadone for heroine addicts, they have the nicotine patches and gum for cigarette smokers, they have O'Douls for alcoholics, and they have Girls Gone Wild Commercials for porn addicts. Have you ever watched Comedy Central or SpikeTV between the hours of midnight and 3am? If so, then the GGW theme music will forever be in your head. You know the one that sounds like island music being played at a gay circus? Yeah, that one. These commercials are repetitive, annoying, filled with lies ("It's my first time!", and very arousing. It's like medicinal porn for porno addicts. The only thing blocking you from seeing full-on basic cable nudity is an 'uncensored' graphic (ironically) censoring some young 'co-ed'. It's a decent source of entertainment during the breaks of whatever garbage is on between The Colbert Report and Conan. It's bad enough you're probably home alone on a weekend night, after either coming home too early from not getting laid or staying in and not getting laid, and you have to see 18-22 (hopefully) year-old girls who'll you'll never get to have the sex with and who also supposedly have no idea this footage will be for sale and clips will be played every night for all of eternity. (<---Longest. Sentence. Ever.) It's all uncomfortable, unnerving, and hot at the same time. Kinda like a glory hole the weather in Alabama. Yes? I call for one of three things to happen. They can either a) Stop showing these commercials at night, 2) Start showing these during prime time hours, D) uncensor them, or Door #3, all of thee above. Regardless, its a great way to ease yourself off of the hardcore, interspecies, midget porn that you've been accustomed to enjoying.