Maxim vs King: Subliminally making you waste your money.

I was in the supermarket a few days ago when I strolled down the magazine/newspaper isle. Instead of picking up the Wall Street Journal or USA Today, I chose a couple girly magazines. One of which was Maxim Magazine. It's like Playboy, but without the nipples and vag and a lot more ads. I like it actually. You don't have to hide it when company comes over. Plus, Lindsay Lohan was grabbing her boob on the cover, so yeah. The second was King Magazine, or what I like to call Black Maxim. The tits are smaller and the asses are bigger, but its roughly the same thing. I've only bought Black Maxim once before due to the shitty writing by the columnists, but Kim Kardashian is on the cover, and she has a fat ass, so it magically appeared in my basket and in my heart. My usual routine with these magazines is simple: 1. I rip out all of the cologne ad inserts, the "subscribe now" inserts, and whatever else is made of the thicker paper. 2. Skim all the pictures, front to back. 3. Read all of the "become a better man/improvement" articles. and a few days later when I'm bored... 4. Read the featured articles. When reading the features in both magazines I noticed a few things. Well, actually just two. Reading King Magazine gave me the craving for buying rims and having unprotected sex with girls with big asses. Reading Maxim Magazine gave me the urge to put on some cologne and get completely shit-faced. Here's why... Differences/Similarities. about 200 pages about 180 pages Two-page clothing ads 6 8 Two-page ads for rims 0 9 One-page clothing ads 7 12 One-page ads for rims 0 14 (fucking 14) Liquor/Alcohol Ads 15 (oddly enough) 9 Cologne Ads/Body Spray (post-insert rippage) 9 2 Menthol Cigarettes Ads 2 (plus one for Camel) 2 Cell Phone Downloads 2 1 Condom Ads 1 none at all What I learned from comparing the two ethnically different periodicals: 1. Black folks are not pre-disposed to waste money on shiny rims. It is forced upon us by rappers and extravagant ads in the magazines we read. 2. White folks love to get drunk. 3. The 'man' secretly wants to keep the STD's in the minority community. There were no condom ads in King Magazine and I can bet you there aren't any in Lowrider Magazine either. 4. Even though there is a ringtone/wallpaper commercial on every 8 minutes on BET, there was surprisingly only one in King. 5. The boobs are definitely bigger in Maxim. The asses are extremely bigger in King.