Single men have three kinds of sex....

Yes, only three. I'm not including kinky, oral, fetish, marathon, or any type of sex like that. I'm talking about quality. Cut and dry. I'm talking about sex in its most simple description. Like the title says, single men have three kinds of sex. Bad Sex Most men say there's no such thing for us to have bad sex. "Women have bad sex. We always have good sex." That's not necessarily true. A good way to tell is to ask yourself afterwards, "Was that or was that not better that masturbating?" If you can actually tell yourself that rubbing one out to your old J.C. Penny's catalogue would have been even a little more enjoyable, then you just had really bad sex and the girl should look into taking lessons or lesbianism. If a single man has bad sex, he should immediately erase that woman's number from his phone, caller id, and the bathroom stall on which he found it. A number of things can cause bad sex, failure to finish and the "dead fish" being number one and two respectively. If you didn't cum due to the fact that she just laid there and had some sort of erotic asthma attack, you've had bad sex. Maybe guys can't deliver 100% of the time, but women who don't are just lazy. Good Sex If a woman makes us orgasm in the act of intercourse (health class word), we had good sex. It's just that simple. Two minutes or two hours, *pump* *pump* cum, moan, smile, collapse = *pump* *pump*, flip, smack, turn, *pump*, pull, scream, front, back, moan, smile, breathe. You can't fail. She can't fail. As a man, you're not supposed fail at enjoying yourself. Great Sex Mind numbing, dizzifying (I made that up), sweaty, intense, aerobic, whatever other adjective I can't seem to think of. These are all signs of great sex. Calling it outstanding or amazing or whatever women usually call it is pointless. Us men like to keep it simple. It's probably not how we describe it when she asks, but in our head, it was great sex. Waking the neighbors doesn't happen during good or bad sex. Scratch marks don't come from good or bad sex (unless it was a defense mechanism). Cursing God doesn't happen in good or bad sex. You may call out to him or something, but only great sex will make you see him and make her tell him to fuck off and stop perving. Now, men who are having sex with a loved one (as in girlfriend/fiance/wife, you sicko) have only two kinds of sex: Good and Great. I refuse to believe that a man truely in love can have bad sex. It just can't happen. If you have a connection with her and you do the whole "eye contact thing", then your dick can break off and it would still be good. Wait, no. I take that back. You dick breaking off would definitely be considered bad sex and I would hope your girl would lay off the Kegel exorcises for a few weeks to prevent it from happening again. You get the point.